Wednesday, March 5, 2014

A Journey

For as long as I can remember, I have had this frustrated artist inside of me.  I had such a huge desire to be an artist, but at the same time I had absolutely no confidence in my ability to create art - the kind of art that's in my head anyway.

I do consider myself to be a creative person, and I can create things that I love, but I just don't have that raw ability to draw something as I see it, and as I see it in my head.

Confession #11:  When I see people who have a natural talent for drawing I am so envious.

I just want that so bad. It's that word "natural" that I can't just go and get somewhere. Natural. I can't buy it at a store or dig it up in the backyard. Natural comes with you.  It lives inside of you and influences your movements, it's in your eyes and affects the way you see things, it flows like a river through your veins.  It's with you always. You can't give it away and you can't sell it.  It's yours and will be a part of you, for your whole life.

No matter how much I desire to have it - I never will.

So after wanting and not having, year after year of my life.  I decided that I needed to make a change. I wondered if I could literally "change" my mind. I should be able to do that, right?  After all, it is MY mind.  Could I actually change the way I think about art, the way I think about myself, the way I see art, the way I see myself, therefore, the way I create art. I think I can. Isn't it all about perception any way?  Now that I think of it, isn't everything about perception?   I know that I need to let go of a few things, like thinking art has to be perfect... or amazing... or gallery worthy.  No one has to like it.  No one even has to see it if I don't want them to.  I don't need to "change" other peoples minds.  Just mine.

I came to this realization as I was sitting in bed a few weeks ago trying to get sleepy, doing a crossword puzzle .  So I grabbed a pencil and started to draw.

I have already realized that art isn't just a finished product.  It's a journey.  And in that journey is where lessons are learned, wants and needs are fulfilled, life is enjoyed and dreams come true.

Bye for now.

p.s. never stop dreaming

Great Old Book You Might Have Missed Alert

Great advice for life.